Brappy had been waiting for this day for two weeks, ever since his mom and dad had decided to go. Brappy had been trying extra hard to be a good little bear, so his parents would not change their minds. He had been thanking God everyday too, because he really couldn’t believe his parents had agreed to his suggestion. It was nothing short of a miracle.

After what seemed like forever, the sun began to rise. Brappy looked at his clock. 5:30 am. Not his usual getting up time on a Saturday, but late enough in the morning he would not get in trouble for being up and about. Brappy sprang out of bed. He was so happy it was April. He loved winter in Alaska, but when the snow finally melted it meant the temperature went up and Brappy could run and play without any snow gear on. It also meant he wasn’t shivering when he got out of bed and the floor wasn’t freezing when his feet hit it.

Brappy put on his clothes, making sure to pick jeans without any holes in them. He wanted to make his mom happy this morning. He combed his fur and washed his face, without being asked (which was huge). He even made his bed and picked up his dirty clothes. When he was satisfied both he and his room looked presentable, he went quietly down to the kitchen.

To his surprise, his mom and dad were both sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Today was Saturday, and his parents usually slept in till at least 8:00am. Brappy wondered to himself why he didn’t smell breakfast, but he dared not say anything. Especially not today. He didn’t want to seem selfish. It was Saturday, the day Momma didn’t have to do any chores except cook. Then, as if reading his mind, Brappy’s mom got up and made him a mug of hot chocolate and gave him his vitamin. She insisted he chew the nasty vitamins every morning. Living in Alaska meant not eating enough fresh vegetables, which is why his mom said the vitamins were important. Brappy didn’t understand all that. But he obeyed his mom, and he always ate them, even though he thought they tasted like sour chalk, or what he imagined sour chalk would taste like.

A few minutes later Brappy’s brother walked into the kitchen. Well, more like he crawled in. It was quiet apparent Revver was not quite awake yet. His fur was going in every direction possible and his t-shirt was on backwards. Mom must have made him get up. Wow, and here Brappy thought he was going to be the only one awake so early. Today must really be a bigger deal than he thought. Mom made Revver a mug of hot cocoa also. Maybe the chocolate would wake Revver up. Something had to.

Getting curious as to why everyone was awake so early, Brappy asked what time they were leaving. Instead of answering, Brappy’s parents just looked at each other and smiled, showing all of their big white teeth. Even more curious now, Brappy resisted the urge to ask again. He didn’t want to irritate them. Nothing was going to ruin today, especially his own behavior. He might only be 6 years old, but some things in life he had figured out already.

Brappy said a silent prayer, “Dear God, please help me say only nice things today, no matter what. And please help me not argue with Revver.” Then he thanked God again for this special treat, which was a huge answer to his prayers. He had wanted to go to the Sea Life Center ever since Revver’s class had gone there on a field trip. It was all Revver had talked about for days. Brappy had tried not to covet going to the Sea Life Center. His Sunday school teacher had explained how wanting what other people have is a sin, if we get angry about not having it too. So Brappy had begun to pray and ask God to help him with this. He really did want to go, but he never said anything. He just prayed. Then, one day his mom and dad asked him if there was anything special he would like to do, before their summer fish camp work began. Brappy had jumped at the chance and told them how much he wanted to go to the Sea Life Center in Seward. And now they were going.

The phone ringing brought Brappy’s attention back to the kitchen. Momma answered it, and by the smile in her voice he could tell it was a good call. Weird though, a phone call so early on a Saturday. Maybe it was Grandma. She was on vacation in the lower 48, and their time of day is ahead of Alaska’s time. Brappy didn’t quite understand that either, he just knew that to talk to Grandma he had to call her before 6:00 pm, because it was 8:00 pm there. Oh, how grownups can make things in life so confusing. How could time be different one place than another? Well, he would have to worry about that later. Mom and Dad were talking in low voices now, and Brappy was beginning to get excited. They kept looking at him and giggling. Such unusual behavior for his parents. They were acting like kids. Totally not normal.

Just then he heard a knock at the door. Now this was getting really weird. No bear he knew was out knocking on doors this early on a Saturday. Before any of them could move toward the door, it swung open, and in raced his best friend in the whole world, Axle. Whoa, this was so cool. Brappy jumped up, almost spilling his mug. Running over to Axle he stopped midway and turned to his mom. As if reading his mind (which seemed to be happening a lot today) she told him they had invited Axle to join them. They had wanted to keep it a surprise, just for fun. By this time Axle was beside Brappy and the two boys were jumping up and down in excitement. Brappy couldn’t believe how much God had blessed him. He ran over and gave his mom and dad a huge bear hug. His mom told the lil bears they could ride bikes until they were ready to leave, and that is exactly what they did.

“What’s this?” I mumbled, reaching down to pick up an old worn teddy bear from the steps of our church. My mind began to visualize each child’s face from our little country church, tucked away on the hillside of Alaska’s largest city. Surely it must belong to one of them. I secured it under my arm and headed in to church with my children.

After service I headed downstairs, only to find my husband sitting beside a little boy, right there on the steps. I had never seen this little guy before. Dressed in a red pullover, jeans and slightly worn tennis shoes, he appeared to be about two years old. My husband was trying to communicate with him, and I had to smile. My ham of a husband couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make a child smile. Over the years he had obtained a great success ratio, making him every child’s favorite uncle, whether actually related or not. However, for all his trying, it obviously wasn’t working this time. The little boy was most definitely not smiling. Instead he folded his arms, scowled and grunted at every attempt my husband made. I watched this charade for a minute, then remembering my find, I held out the worn bear. Upon seeing it, the child’s scowl immediately disappeared. He grabbed the bear quickly and began clutching it so tight I thought the eyes would pop off. I gave my husband a curious look, giggling at this child’s fervor over the worn out old bear.

Collecting our children from Sunday school, I headed upstairs. My husband was talking with a small group and holding the now smiling little boy. He had done it, and once again his success ratio rose. As I headed to our car, I began to wonder what the story was behind this non verbal little boy who needed a worn out old bear so much.

“Julie’s not his mom, is she?” I asked on the drive home.

“No”, he said, deep in thought.

“And” I asked. I waited for a reply, which did not come. “Oh, for heavens sake, please tell me” I asked again, very impatiently. He just looked at me, a smile creeping over his face. His eyes were dancing with an expression I had not seen since the day our three year old daughter had been born.

“He’s in emergency foster care with Julie’s sister. The state needs a family for him. His mom and dad won’t stop drinking long enough to take care of him.” I stared at my husband’s words in disbelief. Tears began welling up in my eyes. I had never understood how a parent could neglect and abandon their child.

“God, why,” I screamed in my head. I knew there was no answer, but praying helped ease the pain I felt for this little boy.

For the remainder of the drive I listened to our children. They were playful and happy, just as little children should be. After lunch, when everyone was comfy and settled, my husband asked me to talk with him. He was using the tone of voice I knew meant something serious. I gave him a questioning look. Couldn’t this wait. As we sat down dread crept over me. Why was he insisting on talking today? Sunday was our day of quiet and rest. The day we had agreed would be for the children and full of love. No work, no stress, and especially no talks.

When I looked up I was utterly surprised. There he was, holding a cup of coffee and a hand written card. He looked like a schoolboy with the sheepish grin his face held. He bent down and gave me a soft, tender kiss. He put the card on the table next to the coffee. As he sat across from me, staring at me, his eyes once again danced with the joy I had seen after church. I giggled inside. He had tricked me with the tone in his voice. Well, now it was my turn. I took a long, slow and very deliberate drink of the coffee, seeming not to notice the card. Teasing him was so much fun. Finally, I began to stare back, holding his gaze as long as I could. Finally, when it was obvious I couldn’t win, I moved my attention to the card. I heard him shift in his seat. Hmmm, nervous was he, I thought amusingly. ‘To the Best Mommy in the World!’ was scrawled on the front of the card in his engineer style handwriting. I smiled, accepting the compliment with grace and love. I glanced up and mouthed the words “Thank You” as I opened the card. What was inside took my breath away.

‘Would you like to have a worn out teddy bear come live with us? If your answer is yes, flip the card over.” I looked at my husband, trying to understand the cryptic message. I started to speak but he shushed me, putting his hands over mine, looking into my eyes with those darn dancing ones of his again. What was going on? I could feel his apprehension and joy, all melted together in love. As this feeling surged from his hands into my body it began to make sense.

My mind screamed, half hysterically and half in joy. This wasn’t happening. I began to remember my adolescent plan. The one I had made at the age of 15. I had decided, upon the intense realization there was a world full of hurting children, that I would adopt a child or two when I grew up. I had spent hours praying to God for this when I was young and full of naivety. It was a prayer I had long since forgotten, until now.

I silently removed my hands from my husbands, held up the card and turned it over. Written on the back were these words, ‘Billy needs a home, we have a home. Billy needs a family, we are a family.’ As the tears fell from my face my husband came around the table and held me. We clung to each other, crying with joy and fear over the next phase of our life.

As our children came to us, we opened our arms to them. The realization that this would be the last time it was just the four of us swept over me like a tidal wave and I began to pray. “Thank you God for giving me a family, and an answer to a prayer long forgotten. Thank you God for worn out old teddy bears.”

The following poem would later become the basis for the Broadway musical “CATS” theme song. The word jellicle comes from Mr. Elliots niece and meant “dear little cats”.

The Song of the Jellicles

Jellicle Cats come out to-night
Jellicle Cats come one come all:
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright -
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.

Jellicle Cats are black and white,
Jellicle Cats are rather small;
Jellicle Cats are merry and bright,
And pleasant to hear when they caterwaul.
Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces,
Jellicle Cats have bright black eyes;
They like to practise their airs and graces
And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise.

Jellicle Cats develop slowly,
Jellicle Cats are not too big;
Jellicle Cats are roly-poly,
They know how to dance a gavotte and a jig.
Until the Jellicle Moon appears
They make their toilette and take their repose:
Jellicle Cats wash behind their ears,
Jellicle dry between their toes.

Jellicle Cats are white and black,
Jellicle Cats are of moderate size;
Jellicle Cats jump like a jumping-jack,
Jellicle Cats have moonlit eyes.
They’re quitet enough in the morning hours,
They’re quitet enough in the afternoon,
Reserving their terpsichorean powers
To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon.

Jellicle Cats are black and white,
Jellicle Cats (as I said) are small;
If it happends to be a stormy night
They will practise a caper or two in the hall.
If it happens the sun is shining bright
You would say they had nothing to do at all:
They are resting and saving themselves to be right
For the Jellicle Moon and the Jellicle Ball.

T. S. elliot

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